The Way Things Are
by labarynth-mind
Summary: Remus Lupin begins to notice some disturbing things going on with Harry, He finally finds out what’s been bothering him, but the answer to his questions are more startling than he would have ever thought. Not slash between Remus and Harry. Well maybe, de
1. The Test

Me: Hello! I'm Sara! And I'd like to tell you to enjoy the fic!

Jean: yeah ok... Now Sara does not own Harry Potter–

Me: yeah! If I did Sirius wouldn't be dead and oh the changes I'd make! Besides, if I wrote Harry Potter why would I be writing these little fics and shit! I'd be driving in cool cars and hanging out in my fancy London flat! And–

Jean: alright! They get it. All rights to Harry Potter belong to J.K. Rowling.

Me: Yup! So enjoy!

&HP&

Remus Lupin smiled at his 6th year defense against the dark arts class, after many requests of a option less Dumbledor he had agreed to return to teaching. Today was about the second week into school, his eyes scanned the class. His golden eyes rested momentarily on one particular student, Harry Potter. Harry had his green eyes glued to the desk and wore a blank look on his pale face. He and Harry had such a good relationship last time he was teaching, and nothing had changed when he had seen Harry again before his fifth year. Sirius... Things had changed after that. Harry had become so much more quiet and withdrawn, he sometimes even flinched when people touched him. Not to mention his attitude around Remus. Harry barley ever talked to him unless he was asked a question during class, in the hall when he said hello to Harry, the boy would merely nod to him submissively but nothing more. Remus shook his head to clear his thoughts, he had a class to teach after all, he couldn't dwell on this now.

"Now class, today is going to be a bit different. I've decided to see how far all of you are on your lessons due to th fact that you have had some... eh... lacking teachers in the past. So hurray hurray! Pop quiz!" His calm golden eyes slid shut and he sighed a bit as the groans were heard around the room. " Now now! Don't get wound up, it's so simple you'll laugh! We're just going to take a simple written quiz covering all the things from you're previous years, and one by one I will call you into my office to cover a familiar topic. All you must do is confront a boggart and get rid of it! Easy! Andy when you finish both your written and visual exams you may leave the class and proceed to your common rooms." Most of the students looked more relaxed after hearing how easy the quiz will be, Remus smiled and looked at his list of names. "Hermione Granger, you're first." Hermione smiled and stood up, she walked into her professors office.

"Now, Mr. Longbottom, if you could please pass out the papers. Class, keep calm now, stay quiet and do your tests. I may be in the other room but I have my ways to know what's going on. Proceed."

&HP&

Walking back out of his office Remus looked on his list, only one student left, the only student in the room, Harry Potter.

"Harry, you're next." He said with a smile. Harry looked up surprised, he nodded and walked into the office without a word. Remus looked at his form a bit worriedly and followed him in.

"Alright Harry, I know that you may have the natural reflex to use the patronus charm due to our training in third year, but please, if you could I'd like you to use raddikulus hex" Harry nodded mutely and took out his wand, staring intently at the locked chest with emotionless green eyes. Remus frowned again and took out his own wand, he waved it and the chest clicked open, he readied himself for a defector to swoop hauntingly out of the box, but that is not what emerged.

&HP&

Me: oh! Cliff hanger! If anyone liked it then tell me! I want reviews, give me criticisms and tips or such, this is only my second fic and my first harry potter fic so yeah.

Jean: It'll get better... we promise...


	2. The boggart

Me: mwah my lovely reviewers! I love you all!

Jean: Yes! You are all fabulous!

Me: hehe! I was so pleased with actually getting reviews that I decided to get another chapter out sooner than I planned and not to procrastinate like I usually do! 3

Jean: oh! Do I sense a hint there? (Cough) more reviews (cough) equals quicker (cough) updates (cough)

Me: yup! That's exactly my hint there jean baby! Now lay it on em!

Jean: Sara does not own Harry Potter! All rights belong to the lovely J.K. Rowling!

Me: very good! Very professional sounding hon! Now on with the story!

&HP&

Harry's eyes widened dramatically and he dropped his wand gracelessly to the ground in his shock. He just like Lupin had expected a faux dementor to come swooping out of the chest before him. Then again this was in a great sense his greatest fear, why hadn't he realized that this would happen before?

' Too late now…' He thought to himself as the monstrous form stared menacingly at him. (A/N: ehe. How evil would it be to leave it off here? Heh.)

&HP&

To say Remus was surprised would be quite and understatement. After all, the boggart is supposed to show one their greatest fear, so why would the boggart take this form. He watched perplexed as the boggart stood there taking the form as none other that Vernon Dursley, Harry's uncle. Maybe the boggart was defective or something, was that possible? Maybe stupid would be a better word. But as soon as he looked at Harry and saw the un-relenting fear that laced his lately emotionless face and the glassy tears that began to form at the corner of his wide terror stricken eyes, he knew that he was wrong. That only confused Remus more though, ok so the boggart wasn't really stupid, Harry WAS afraid of his uncle, but why?

Before Remus could ponder this thought the fake Vernon stepped menacingly forward and Harry took a fearful step back, then "Vernon" spoke.

"Boy!" He barked angrily "What the hell do you think you're doing! How dare you just stand there? You have chores to do you sodding freak! And where the hell is my god damned lunch?" Harry chocked out a sob and staggered back, stuttering apologies and barely audible pleas. "Oh no you don't you little brat! We take you in from the kindness of our hearts! We feed you we clothe you! And you still remain ungrateful!"

"No sir please! I am grateful! Please! I am!" Harry screamed hoarsely as he backed up even more, pressing himself tightly against the wall. Vernon shouted back that he was lying and rushed forward and slapped him hard across the face.

Remus gasped, Harry had been feeding the boggart so much fear that it had become strong enough to tough Him! In such a short amount of time too! He was confused and worried at the same time, He moved forward and was about to fight the boggart off when there was a puff of smoke and it transformed again. (A/N: or I could leave it here….. nah I feel nice.) He watched surprised as hell as the boggart un-characteristically morphed again. Boggarts USUALLY don't change their set form at all, but why would it change again if it already had found a fear so strong? The smoke cleared off and he was, if possible, even more surprised.

The boggart had used its newly gathered strength to form several different figures standing together, but it was who the figures were that really shocked him. The figures were Albus Dumbledore, Severus Snape, Draco Malfoy, Ron weasley, Hermionie Granger, Cedric Diggory, Lily and James potter, Sirius black and himself. They all stood silently and stared at the shaking boy before them with a look of pure disgust and hatred. Harry, who had fallen to the ground after his uncle hit him, sat on the ground sobbing and looking up at the Bogart's new form tearfully. Lily stepped forward and glared threateningly at him.

You little brat! How could you do this to us? You killed us!" She screamed at him.

All of us!" Cedric, Sirius and James all added angrily from behind her. Albus stepped up as well.

How could we expect some little freak to save us? What use are you to us? You'll just get all of us killed wont you?"

Get lost Potter!" Hermionie added venomsly from the back, everyone else nodding in agreement around her.

Bugger off freak. We fucking hate you. I sodding hate you!" His own mirror image shouted. "You're a failure." He added, resoundingly quiet. His own voice saying such hateful words to the boy he cared so much about seemed to snap Remus from the stupor and shock that had paralyzed him. He rushed forward in between the boggart and Harry, the boggart transformed into the familiar sight of the full moon and he shouted the spell. As soon as the boggart shivered at Remus' forced laughter and dove into the chest he spun around and kneeled in front of Harry, who had curled himself into a tight ball at fake Lily's words.

"Harry… Harry please look at me! It's gone…" He reached forward and touched Harry's shivering arm lightly. Harry tensed; he jumped up from his spot on the floor and ran from the room before Remus had time to process him even moving. "Harry!" He stood and ran from the room after the frightened boy, but that boy was apparently damn fast and Remus already lost his trial. That didn't stop him though, he ran in the direction of Griffindor tower in hopes of finding him there. Suddenly he ran into someone rounding the corner and fell to the ground.

"Watch where you're going Lupin!" He glanced up from his spot on the ground and saw Severus Snape standing up angrily and rubbing his now sore bum. Remus quickly stood as well.

"I'm sorry Severus, but have you seen Harry run by here?" He asked quickly and worriedly. Severus rolled his eyes.

"What has that stupid boy done now?" He spat out, but then he looked up and saw Remus' grief stricken look and golden tear glossed eyes. He sighed and shook his head. "No. I haven't seen him, what exactly happened?" Remus let out a shakey sigh and told the entire story to the frowning professor. By the end of his story Snape seemed less angry and, if it possible, a little worried. "Where do you think he would go?" Remus shook his head.

"I don't know… I thought maybe Griffindor tower but you would have seen him run by. We have to find him! But I don't know how we couldWait… The map! It's probubly in his rooms! Let's go!" Remus then proceeded to run past a still confused potions professor towards Griffindor tower.

"Wait! What Map?" He shouted as he turned and ran after the distraught werewolf.

&HP&

Me: Fwew! There we go! That was a kinda long chapter wasn't it?

Jean: nope, you're just lazy.

Me: - hell yeah I am! Now, tell me what you thought! Was it terrible? Bad? Good? Great? Fantastic? Sexy?

Jean:. . .

Me: Heh. Ok maybe not sexy but I just wanted to put that. Oh! And I'm gonna ask for a survey thingy in my reviews. What pairings? Should there be slash? No slash? Should there even be a pairing? Tell me peoples!


	3. The map

Me: ok dearies. Here's the part where I ask you to make a choice…

Jean: yes. Live or die. Choose now!

Me: eh… no…. not that choice… I want to know your input on pairings. I got three replies in comments about what pairing. One said no Harry/Draco. Another suggested a pairing with Harry/Hermionie and lastly one suggesting Harry/Remus. I'm partial to Remus/Harry just cause I'm a slash girl. But you're the readers; I'm willing to write whatever. So in your comments you please please choose.

Jean: yeah…. But Sara still doesn't own jack shit.

Sara: **looks down sadly** no. No I don't… On with the chapter!

/HP\

Remus stopped momentarily outside the portrait of the fat lady, trying to catch his breath enough to tell her the password. He leaned against the stonewall beside him and panted out the words as Snape jogged up behind him also out of breath.

" Gob…pant Goblin… **pant** eh. Goblin… bloody hell…." He stuttered out, the fat lady rolled her oil painted eyes.

"Dear what on earth were you running for?" She asked, causing Snape to make an undignified noise from his left.

"I'd like to know the same thing… damnit Lupin you crazy wolf… What are you on about! A map and whatnot!" Snape growled out in a highly Snape-like fashion.

" The map, the marauders map! Goblin Magic." The portrait swung open upon finally hearing the password, Remus impatiently hustled in. Snape followed him in and found the common room nearly empty (as mostly everyone was at lunch) except for a few first years in front of the fire chatting about… Boys or something, how the hell would Snape know what 11-year-old Griffindor girls talk about? "Wait here!" Remus told him, jogging up the stairs to the sixth year boy's dormitories. Snape sighed and crossed his arms over his chest, he glanced over to the small herd of girls and found them looking at him in surprise and fear. He sneered at them and the turned away with a collective squeak, two seconds later Remus came down the stairs again and was out the portrait hole.

"Now are you going to tell me what the hell is going on?" Severus asked irritated as he followed. He was even more irritated when Lupin said "the map" again and held up an old ratty piece of blank parchment.

"Really Severus, the marauders map! How do you think James, Sirius, Pettigrew, and me got around in our school days? With this!" Lupin ducked into an empty classroom and pulled out his wand; he tapped the parchment lightly and spoke. "I solemnly swear that I am up to no good." Then suddenly Snape could see from over Lupin's shoulder that ink lines were spreading over the parchment like spider-webs, quickly forming a map… a map of Hogwarts! There were little dots all over the map moving around with little names floating over them. "I am truly dishonoring the marauder name by showing this to you but it's for a good cause… This is the marauders map. We all made it in 5th year, it shows all the secret passage ways and where everyone is at all times." Snape blinked in astonishment, this map was very detailed, and also very complicated, and he had to hand it to those idiots. His astonishment quickly turned to anger as he realized that this is what Potter must have been using to sneak around with for so long.

"Hey!" He snapped peevishly. "That's that stupid paper that made fun of me in Potters third year!" Remus coughed awkwardly, nodding his head. "You told me I was being crazy! You knew what it was! You bastard! I-"

"Now now Severus! This isn't about that. It's about finding Harry!" Remus interrupted quickly, he gave a quick scan of the map and let out a breath he didn't know he had been holding. The little dot marked "Harry Potter" was in the second floors girls' lavatory, next to a faded looking dot marked Myrtle Triste.

"Who's Myrtle Triste?" Snape asked from over his shoulder.

"Must be moaning Myrtle, she does haunt that bathroom, and that would explain why her dot is so faded. Now lets go." Remus tapped the map with his wand, stating the words "mischief managed" and quickly heading out the door.

/Hp\

Finally, Snape and Remus reached the bathroom; they slowed from their run to a cautious walk. Peeking around the doorframe they saw Harry leaning against one of the sinks, he was slouched over with his knees draw up to his chest and had his back to them. Myrtle hovered eerily by him, cooing comforting words and asking him what was wrong. Harry on merely ignored her or would reply shortly, telling her it was nothing or shaking his head silently. Remus walked quietly into the room and up behind Harry, he remained unnoticed, except for Myrtle. He gave her a look and nodded towards her stall. She reluctantly nodded in return and floated over and went back into her toilet after causing the raven-haired Griffindor a concerned glance.

Remus knelt behind Harry and rested a hand on his shoulder; the boy instantly stiffened at the contact and drew himself into a tighter ball.

"Harry?" Remus asked softly. "Are you ok?" Harry didn't respond at first, but then they could both hear a response that was muffled by the boy's knees.

"How did you find me?" He whispered softly. Remus sighed and shook his head.

"The marauders map. Now Harry… Are you ok? What happened back there? In class, with the boggart?" Harry made an almost inaudible noise and shook a bit.

"I'm fine… And I don't want to talk about it…." Snape sighed from behind them and walked up next to Remus.

"Well that's too bad. Something is going on and you'd have to be crazy to think you could get out of it that easily. You're going to tell us." Though Snape's words were harsh sounding, Remus couldn't help but notice that they didn't hold as much malice and even seemed to hold a bit of concern. I guess this is as close to caring as Snape really gets. At the sound of the potion master's voice Harry visibly stiffened.

"What is he doing here?" Harry asked, obvious fear lacing his voice.

"Lupin crashed into me when he was running around in a frenzy looking for you. Obviously I wanted an explanation." Snape responded before Remus had a chance.

"You told him!" Harry spat out in a panicky voice; his head shot up and he looked Remus dead in the eye. Remus felt his breath freeze in his lungs. He had never seen Harry like this… Nor did he ever want to again. Harry's hair was even more of a mess than before, his cheeks were red and had the remains of tears all over them; his nose was red as well from crying. The most shocking thing was his eyes though, those eyes that usually held confidence, joy, refreshing defiance, and even a glimmer of mischief. They were now glassy with tears and sightly red from crying, they now held new emotions in their emerald depths. Remus could see pain, sadness, fear, disappointment, and worry. Despite all these emotions though, they still held an empty hollow look to them, and that terrified Remus to no end. Remus also noticed that Harry had the starts of a bruise on his pale face from where boggart-Vernon hit him.

"Oh Harry…" Was all he could find to say, he gingerly brought a hand up and ran a soft thumb over the bruise, brushing tears away in its wake. He nearly died when Harry visibly flinched at his approaching hand. He felt the possible beginnings of tears in his own golden eyes. "Please Harry… Please tell me…" Harry shook with unheard sobs and looked down. Much to Remus' surprise Snape sat down on the bathroom floor next to them and looked intently at Harry, the worry now apparent in his eyes.

"Potter…. Harry… Tell us what's going on. Like I said, you can't weasel out of this." He said in that same soft and caring yet harsh and demanding tone that Remus now knew as "Snape's fifth emotion" right along with anger, irritation, indifference, and sneer. Harry visibly sagged; he must have realized that there was no getting out of this.

"Why don't we start with your uncle…" Remus suggested, hoping it might be easier to go one thing at a time. Harry sighed and kept his avid staring contest with the floor in full swing as he began to speak.

"Ever since I was three… My uncle… He's been… Abusing me… Physically." Remus could hear Snape gasp on his left, meanwhile he got the same freezing air feeling from before, right along with the frantic beating of his heart.

/Hp\

Me: oh! Who saw that coming!

Jean: everyone?

Me: Heh. Yeah. It was awfully predictable. But hey. Also, I have another question. I am a huge Sirius Black fan. So in a way it's killing me to write him dead, also I'm still in a bit of denial that he is.

Jean: major denial.

Me: shush you! So I was wondering. Should I bring him back? Just in time to find out about Harry's melt down. Heh, if I do it won't be for a few chapters though. And also, should I find a way to bring back Lily and James? I ask because one of my friends is begging me to, she's really into the whole fluffy ending thing. So tell me in your reviews! Thankee!

Jean: and by the way. We decided to give myrtle a last name instead of "moaning myrtle" after all that's a nick-name, and the map sows real names. Her last name, "Triste" means "sad" in French.


	4. Harry's Birthday Memories

Woo hoo! Hello my lovely reviewers! I am oh so happy when I check my email and see that "fanfiction review!" thing in my letterbox! Teehe! Now. After getting all those reviews in regards to the pairing I was… well in a world even more lost. So many different replies! Eeek! So here's what I came up with. Harry is going to stay single.

He may get a crush on Remus or Hermionie but he'll get over it and stay single. What do you think, good or bad? Also, I only got one reply to the question I asked last chapter! Aw! So I'll ask again, I am a huge Sirius Black groupie. (No I am not ashamed!) So I was wondering if I should bring him back, just in time for his poor godson's melt down.

Now in reply to some of my reviews:

Maya 100: Yeah, I know it's a bit odd for Harry to be opening up to Snape, But here's how I see it: Though Harry really hates Snape, aside from first year he basically seems to have a grudging trust in him. Also, like I stated in the chapter Harry realized that he didn't have really any chance out of it, and as you'll see in this chapter, Harry is still very reluctant to say anything, he gives out some info but then refuses to say more.

Angel74: AW! Thanks! I loved your ideas! Thank you so much, as you can see I've started taking them to heart. And also thanks about the comment on Snape, it's hard to keep him IC in fics like this, I'm glad you think I am.

Now. You know the thing, I don't own crap. On with the fic!

&HP&

For once in his life, Severus Snape was at a loss for words. For one freak moment, Severus Snape, the snarky-est professor on this side of the galaxy, the duke of diss, the wizard of witty-ness and wisecracks (1), was shocked into verbal submission. Part of him was shouting at his mind that the boy must have been lying, he was certain that this part must have been his pride. For if what Potter had just said was true, all those years of him seeing the boy as a pompous, pampered little prince had been wrong. Another part of him was telling him that he should have known, that he should have been kinder and let himself get to know Potter instead of jumping to conclusions. That particular voice sounded shockingly like Albus Dumbledore. Then there was of course the voice that just kind of stuttered and cursed a lot, trying to process all of the information. Luckily (or not, he couldn't know at the moment) the Albus voice of reason was winning, or rather, at the moment it was coming in at a close second with the angry stammering one.

&HP&

Remus Lupin felt as if all the blood in his body had been transformed into chunks of ice. He couldn't believe it; he didn't want to believe it. What Harry had just said couldn't have been true! 'Ever since I was three… My uncle… He's been… Abusing me… Physically…' Harry's haunted words sounded in his head over and over like some sadistic prayer. No, it couldn't have been true! Not Lily and James' son. Not Harry. Sweet, kind, brave, selfless Harry. Not him. It couldn't be true, but those thoughts were swept away as he looked at Harry. Harry was staring at him as if he would snap and attack him, physically or verbally, at any moment. He would cast Severus these same glances from time to time as well. Snape himself looked as though he would pass out at any moment. His coal black eyes were as wide as they could go and his mouth was drawn into a thin twisted line, he was mumbling a tiny bit under his breath, as if having a great internal conflict with himself. Remus would have laughed if the circumstances hadn't been so grave. Remus knew that one of them would say something; he knew it wouldn't be Harry, and Snape didn't look as if he could say his own name, let alone start a conversation. So He knew that it would have to be him, he gathered his bearings and tried to keep his face passive, despite the tears steadily building in his golden eyes.

"Harry…" The boy looked from Severus back to him with fear and apprehension in his eyes. "I… Could you…. Elaborate…" He choked out, unable to think of any real questions at the moment. Harry let out a small sob and looked to the ground, after a few moments he finally spoke.

"It… It was my third birthday." He finally got out. That morning Uncle Vernon was already on edge, his business wasn't doing very well or something. I made my first mistake when I asked him where my presents were… The look on his face…. Like I was the most disgusting rediculus thing he had ever seen… Then I made my second mistake during the afternoon… I took a walk…. alone… Then my third mistake, get back late… Fourth mistake, telling my aunt and uncle why I was late… "

/Flash back\\

"Uncle Vernon?" A small third-year-old Harry Potter said from his position by the stove. His uncle grunted and didn't look up from his paper. Harry stared at him for a second, holing the pan of bacon in his small hands. "Do you… Do you know what day it is?" His uncle grunted again, so Harry decided to continue. "Um… It's my birthday today, sir…" he stammered out, looking shyly to the ground. His uncle glanced up from his paper for a moment and responded.

"So?" He grumbled boredly as he took a sip from his coffee mug. The three-year-old fidgeted a bit, he opened and closed his mouth a few times, trying to think of something to say.

"Well… It's my birthday…" He murmured finally. "Aren't you gonna say 'happy birthday' to me?" His uncle looked at the undersized boy slowly.

"No." He stated as if it were the most obvious answer in the world, his beady little eyes practically burning holes in the boy's skin.

"Do I get any presents?" He asked quietly, his big innocent green eyes looking at his uncle through thick black lashes. He flinched a bit when said uncle stood slowly from the table and made his way over to him. The boy gulped as the gigantic man approached, his endless rolls of fat wobbling back and forth, and his short, fat legs struggled to bring the thundering mass closer and closer to the boy who was roughly the size of one of those legs.

"No." The fat man stated when he finally stood directly in front of Harry,

"W…Why?" He asked in a barley there voice. His uncle made an angry noise in the back of his throat and grabbed one of Harry's tiny shoulders with sausage like fingers. He ignored the boy's painful flinch as he steered him forcefully to the stove.

"Shut up you worthless freak! You don't get any presents because you don't deserve any presents!" He shouted, shoving Harry's small frame against the stove, Harry yelped as his hand brushed over the stoves hot surface. "Presents are what you give to someone you love! So why would we give you any you little bastard? We don't love you! No one does! Feel grateful enough that we let you stay here! Anyone else would have thrown your scrawny arse onto the streets when they found you lying worthlessly on their doorstep in a bloody basket like we did! Be more grateful! So shut the hell up and make our bloody breakfast! And stop crying you bloody baby!" His uncle waddled angrily back to his chair and plopped down, causing the chair to groan slightly from the pressure. The only other occupant at the table, Petunia Dursley (for Dudley had spent the night at a friends house), gave a quick unreadable glance at the trembling boy who was going back to making their breakfast with trembling hands, trying like hell not to cry.

(Later that day…)

Harry Potter wandered sadly around the streets of surrey, slowly trailing away from privet drive. He ignored the curious glance he got from people, obviously wondering what a three-year-old was doing out alone (not to mention he looked much younger than he really was.) Harry tried to push the events from earlier that morning out of his head, despite the consistency of the verbal abuse he received, his uncles words stung. Yes, it was true that he had never gotten a "happy birthday" or any presents, but somehow he had hoped that things would be different this year. Not to mention what his uncle had said about loving him, or rather not. Yes, once again it was true that his aunt and uncle had told him before that they didn't love him, but once again he always hoped that they would change. That he would have a family that loved him, a family that cared about him. He was starting to loose hope in that ever happening as well. He sighed and sat dejectedly on a swing at the park.

"Happy birthday Harry…" He muttered sadly, his head jerking up as he heard snickering.

"Hey Dudley… Isn't that your scrawny cousin?"

"Hm? Oh well. Looks like it is. How goes it freak?" Dudley Dursley drawled in such a sadistic way that you would never expect to hear from a five-year-old. Harry made a small noise and looked to the ground, wishing that it would open up and sallow him whole, swing set included. "What was that I heard ya say? So it's your birthday eh?" An evil grin spread on the fat boy's pink face. "Well, boys, what say we give the little freak a birthday present?" Harry looked up with wide eyes. 'No. Not today…' he thought as he jumped from the swing and began to run away. It wasn't long before they caught him, then they were on him immediately, hitting everywhere they could find. Until finally he blacked out.

/end flashback\\

Harry sighed. "When I woke up I ran home immediately… But I was already late. Then when my aunt caught me sneaking in and getting blood on her carpet my uncle got mad. I tried to explain that Dudley and his friends beat me up, but that only made them madder, he was mad at me for accusing his son. Then he…" Harry began to trail off; he closed his eyes and tears rolled down his cheek. "I think you can fill in the rest…" The there was silence… Harry didn't dare to speak, Snape and Remus couldn't possibly form a sentence in the state of shock they were in. The tears Remus had been trying to hide were rolling down his cheeks now. "It… well he didn't stop himself from hitting me after that… But it wasn't that bad… I got used to it… It was just a few slaps or punches here and there. Nothing big." He said quickly, causing Snape to make a very un-dignified noise.

"NOTHING TO BIG?" He boomed, immediately regretting it as he saw Harry flinch and draw back into his ball, his small frame shaking violently. Snape closed his eyes and pinched the bridge of his nose, looking very defeated as Harry began to stutter apologies. "Stop apologizing Potter… I didn't mean to yell. I'm not mad… per say… I… well. What do you mean 'nothing that big'? Abuse is big, even if it's not too aggressive. And judging by how it's affected you I'd say it was very violent, mentally and physically." He said, in a much calmer voice this time. "Can you tell us more?" He said, opening his eyes to look directly at Harry, who broke the eye contact quickly. Upon, processing what Snape had said he shook his head violently.

"No!" He croaked out, fresh tears pouring from his glassy, worn out looking, green eyes. "I… I can't… Please… D… Don't make me… Don't make this a big deal… I put up with it for 16 years, what's a few more. As soon as I turn 17 and graduate then I can leave… If Dumbledore see's it fit I mean…" He said the last part in a sad reluctant voice. Remus seemed to snap from his trance.

"Oh hell no!" He snapped, quickly calming his voice. "No. You are NOT going back there. If I have to sneak into that retched house and kidnap you my self! I am NOT letting you go back there! I owe it to Lily and James. I owe it to Sirius. I bloody owe it to YOU, Harry. I know you think that I look at you as just one of my students but you're wrong. I see you as so much more, I DO care about you a great deal and I would much rather die painfully than let you set foot in that hell hole ever again." The werewolf was out of breath by the e4nd of his speech, he had Snape looking at him in a sort of indifferent yet reluctant respect and Harry seemed to be to shock to speak.

"I… You mean you… You would… But… But why?" He whispered in a strained voice. Remus sighed and put his hand gently on Harry's shoulder, looking him directly in the eye.

"Like I said before Harry. I care about you a great deal. No one deserves such treatment. Least of all you. I know that you don't want to talk about it right now. You've been through a lot today so I'll respect that, but I do want you to talk to me sometime soon. I have to know, and Dumbledore will have to know too. It's the only way to get you out of there." Harry seemed a bit put out at the thought of having to open up, as well at the thought of having to tell Dumbledore. After a bit though he smiled softly and nodded at Remus, Remus smile back. What say we go back to my private quarters for some tea, you can rest as well? I'm guessing that you don't really want to face the Griffindor dorms right now." He smiled when Harry nodded at the last comment, they both stood up. Harry's stance was still very defensive, He had his arms crossed in a sort of self-hug position and his head was hung. Remus couldn't help himself, his instincts kicked in, and since the wolf saw Harry as part of his pack those instincts were rather parental in nature. He moved forward and wrapped his arms around Harry and buried his face in his soft black hair. He felt Harry tense up at first but eventually relax and slowly bring his arms to wrap around Remus himself. Then he buried his face in the crook of Remus' neck in a shy fashion, Remus rubbed soothing circles on Harry's back and suddenly head an awkward cough. They both looked up to find Snape standing by the sink, looking at them with a raised eyebrow.

"We should go…" He muttered, turning and walking from the room. Harry blushed at his actions, Remus simply smiled at him; he wasn't embarrassed at what he did. Then they began to walk slowly from the room as well, Remus with his arm still wrapped protectively over Harry's shoulder.

&HP&

(1) My mom giggled when she read that… It was odd to see…

Well? What did you think? It was a long chapter I know, but hope ya liked it!


	5. A moment

Yeah! I'm so happy that most of you guys are Sirius fans too! Cause that means I can bring him back! Wheeeee! It won't be till a few chapters though, because I have other stuff to deal with. So ehem. Replies to certain reviews.

Baby-in-a-blender: yup! I'm gonna try to put Snape's pov in more, because snape indeed does rock. Not to mention that Snape will no doubt have some interesting reactions to what he's learning.

Maya 100: errgh! I know! I'm so mad at her for killing him! It was like 3 am when I read that part and I started crying, my sister who is in the room next to me and is a light sleeper woke up and ran in going "omg sara! Why are you crying?" and I stuttered out something along the lines of "he's….. he's… SIRIUS!crying" then she got all mad and told me to shut up and sleep for once… She's a lotr fan and well… if you didn't notice a lot of them don't like us much…

Okee-dokke! Disclaimer: this fic may cause the following side-affects: Sara being sued, Sara going to court, Sara going bankrupt, and Sara living on the streets. To avoid these side-affects please consult your local pediatrician and remember that Sara doesn't own anything but the 15 cent's in her pocket… and some lint. Thank you.

/HP\

The footsteps of the two teachers and student echoed in the luckily empty corridor, it was times like these that Severus Snape was grateful for lunch time when everyone was too busy stuffing their faces to wander the halls. Then again Snape was always thankful for anything that would re-direct the almost constant herd of stupidity that was Hogwarts students from surrounding him. He did notice that a lot of the portraits on the way to Lupin's private quarters were casting worried or curious glances to the 6th year boy walking behind him.

Snape paid no mind to them, for he was once again torn in half. Part of him wanted to turn around and see how the boy was doing, make sure he was still behind him dispite the constant reassuring footsteps tailing him. He wanted to slow down and walk next to him like Lupin; he luckily didn't feel the need to hug him like the werewolf did back in the lavatories. That would have been too much. There was also the part of him that didn't dare turn around, that didn't dare stop walking, that didn't dare cast even the shortest of glances at Potter. There were a few reasons for this side; one reason was that he didn't want to show Potter (or Lupin for that matter) that what Potter said had affected him. He always hated child abusers, many would think it ironic due to the fact that the only things he hated more than child abusers were children themselves. That was not a worry to Snape though, he may hate children but he would never strike one. Sure there was the time he had thrown Potter a bit roughly to the floor last year, after he found Potter looking in his pensive. That was merely a mistake in a fit of rage; after he calmed down a bit he did regret it, even though he was still beyond furious with the boy. Moving on, the other reason he didn't want to turn around was the simple fact that he needed desperately to gather his thoughts. His thoughts were a big jumble, he was taking all his focus to trying to put the pieces of his rational thinking back together, and he knew that as soon as he turned around and saw that empty yet pained look in those green eyes as they peered at him through a lightly bruised veil all the pieces would quickly fall to the ground. So he just kept walking, the only thing interrupting the intense filling going on in his brain was the resounding footsteps that echoed around him, dancing across the walls and teasing his ears.

Finally, after what seemed to be an eternity of walking Snape found himself at the large portrait of Lupin's room. The portrait was of a tall man dressed in deep blue colored ancient roman attire, he had messy brown hair and he was lounging calmly in a forest setting, the city of Rome in the back round. Lying next to him was a large female wolf and an identical man in deep green Roman robes roamed the back round. Lupin came up beside him, Potter stood between them, Lupin's arm around his small shoulders and his dead green eyes trained on the ground. Snape internally growled, 'damn those eyes…' he thought to himself.

"Hello Romulus, wormwood powder." Lupin said to the blue robed man, the man smiled and the portrait swung open. They all walked into the small living room, it wasn't much but it was cozy. A warm fire was dancing merrily in the large fireplace in front of a large comfy looking brown sofa and an overstuffed deep red armchair. Between the couch, chair and fireplace was a small wooden coffe table that was cluttered with parchments and books that obviously came from the good sized wooden bookshelf full of, yup you guessed it, books. The carpet was the same deep red as the chair and looked like the kind of fluffy carpet one loved to walk around on barefoot, because it gave you that soft "walking on a cloud" feeling, where your feet sunk in and the carpet squished between your toes. Snape liked those fluffy carpets… Oh wow, if that ever came out he would be ruined. Snapping back to reality he noticed that Potter was sitting on the red armchair and Lupin was gone, Potter was staring at him… with those sad eyes… 'Oh damnit!' Snape scowled and pursed his lips.

"What?" He snapped, mentally slapping himself as Potter flinched at his tone. He looked down and fiddled with his shirt.

"I was just wondering if you were ok… You kind of zoned out… Remus asked you a few times if you wanted to sit down or if you wanted tea but you just kept staring at the carpet…" Snape cursed silently at those words. "So he just went to get us tea without waiting for your answer…" Harry responded. 'So that's where Lupin is, I wondered why he left me with Harry…' Snape mused. 'Whoa… wait… Harry? That's a new un-welcomed development…' He huffed a bit and sat down on the couch that was indeed as comfortably as it looked. Glancing at Harry-'potter, damnit' he saw that the boy was staring forlornly at the fire, struggling with himself not to cry. Snape sighed.

"You know Potter… If you cry it doesn't make you weak…" He muttered, Harry- 'POTTER!' looked up at him startled, not as startled as Snape though. 'Holy- Did I just say that?'

"I… Yes it does… I can't cry… I can't afford to be weak…" Harry- 'oh hell I give up…' said softly, looking back to the fire. "If people know that I'm weak then they'll lose hope in my to save them… And if that happens… then I have nothing… Hero is all I have…" He muttered, he said it in a sort of trance like voice, like he didn't really think he was saying any of this aloud… or to Snape for that matter. Snape shook his head at the boy's words.

"That's not true, you have more going for you than hero. You have good friends, people who care about you like Lupin. Not to mention a public that, dispite my hatred of this fact, worship the ground you walk on, and it's not just the hero thing." Snape responded, joining Harry in his stare at the fire game.

"How could you know? They don't know me, how can you be so sure that my friends wont hate me when they know about my Uncle. How do you know that my 'public' doesn't worship the ground I walk on simply because the hero thing. What else is there to worship?"

"Well… I suppose that people admire the strong face you hold during all the things you go through, you have the strength to hold your sanity after things that would make a lesser man go insane." 'Yup, I've lost it. It's official…'

". . . What if it's all fake?" Harry asked softly. There was a pregnant pause as Snape thought this over.

"Weather it be fake or not… I grudgingly admit that you have strength. In times such as these it takes strength to do anything, even pretend to be strong." Once again the room fell into silence.

"Professor?"

"What?"

"Did we just… erm… Did we just have a 'moment'?" Harry waited for a bit, and after no response he looked over to see his professor sating at the table in front of him as if he wanted it to burst in to flames and smolder into non-existence. 'Burn damnit! You bloody table! Burn!' Snape thought angrily.

"I… Well… Yes.. I think we may have… We shall not speak of it again… If you tell a single soul I will be forced to do things I will later regret." Snape finally responded, a look on his face suggesting that he had just eaten a salt-coated lemon.

/HP\

Harry had to smile a bit at getting the old Snape back; part of him wondered if he was dreaming, which would explain Snape's recent personality change. That is one of the reasons he told Snape all this, maybe it wasn't real, and there is no sense in fighting things that arn't real. Suddenly, the door opened and Remus came out of the small personal kitchen that all the teachers get with a tray of steaming tea. He smiled at Harry and sat on the couch, setting the tray on the table. He handed a teacup to Harry and turned to hand Snape his cup, Snape took it silently but the lemon-salt look on his face didn't change.

"What's wrong with you Severus?" Remus asked, raising an eyebrow. Snape merely snorted and began to sip his tea. Remus shook his head and sighed out something that sounded like "utterly hopeless". Harry Smiled a bit again, he couldn't help but feel a bit relieved. He had worried that Remus and Snape would change completely when they heard about his uncle, they seemed to be mostly the same though. There was still a lot to tell though.

/HP\

Wowza! Done done! There you go! A whole chapter of almost just Snape baby-in-a-blender! Oh, and btw. The guy in Remus' door portrait was "Romulus" from Roman mythology. Romulus was one of two brothers (twins) who were abandoned as babies and later raised by a wolf mother. They grew up to found Rome. The brother's were "Romulus and Remus" Hence Remus' name and his portrait. The dude in the back round was the brother Remus, but I thought it would be odd to have Remus talking to Remus so I had Romulus in the front.


	6. Harry's lies and the next morning

OMFG! Damn me! Damn me to the depths of Hell! I haven't updated in ages! Bad Sara! Bad! Ugh, I've had writers block for this story, plus I've been working on another story. Go read it if you want, it's AU where Harry's aunt gave him to an orphanage before Hogwarts and he was taken by elves and raised in the forbidden forest until he's 17 when he's finally found. And just to warn you: IT. IS. SLASH. So if you no like then you no read. That simple. I'm doing it as a Remus/Harry pairing, like this one I asked my readers what they wanted and they requested it. I guess I attract Harry/Remus shippers with my writing because I love Remus and Harry so they're usually at the center of my stories. And for those of you worried about the age difference don't worry, I handled that, only a 7-year age difference now, not to bad. Now that I'm done with my rambling excuses on with the story!

&HP&

Harry lay awake in his bed back at Griffindor tower; he was starring at the canopy above his bed thinking about what had happened. After his "moment" with Snape he had opened up a little to him and Remus. He hadn't told much, but enough to keep them satisfied for now. Remus had offered to let Harry stay the night in his rooms, he would sleep on the couch, but Harry declined. After all the changes that had taken place in less than one day and all the changes sure to come Harry wanted to keep some things to normality. Besides, all the Griffindors would be asleep so he didn't have to explain anything. He knew Hermionie and Ron would want to know why he hadn't met them in the great hall for lunch, of why he had disappeared all afternoon and wasn't there for dinner either. Luckily DADA was his last class of the day because it was so close to the weekend so he didn't have any other class to deal with. Harry was still very surprised he had been in Remus' rooms for so long, they had talked for longer than he thought. He did take a nap though; Remus said it would do him some good to clear his head.

The only thing was that Harry's mind was anything but clear. He was still in complete stress about what would happen, how Dumbledore would react, how his friends would react. Would they hate him? Be disappointed? Snape said that he had nothing to worry about when it came to that but how could Snape be so sure? He was Snape after all; nothing was a sure deal with Snape. Harry thought back to the conversation all three of them had had. Remus and Snape seemed most interested as to why he didn't tell, and how he had managed to keep it a secret for so long. Harry snorted; those were both obvious questions. Why didn't he tell? Why would he tell? Would anyone really believe him? How would they react? He was raised being told that no one was to know and that he was better off suffering in the shadows than suffering in the light. After so many years, why would he give up his secret now? If it hadn't have been for the incident during the DADA test he would have never told. Harry was sure he would have ended up taking his secrets to the grave, no matter how soon or long off that would be.

Then the second question, how did he keep it a secret? He had been vague about his answer when he told them, but it was still hilarious to see the look on Snape's face, and so oddly rewarding when he mumbled "That's so… So… Slytherin" under his breath. Harry had told them about sneaking onto the train early and using magic (because the train was considered school grounds so magic wasn't restricted) to cover his scars and bruises. How he would fake a fight with Malfoy or an injury in quidditch earlier on in the year to he could go into the hospital wing and get fixed up for the injuries he supposedly received in the fight or game. They didn't quite understand how he had pretended for so long. They just didn't understand that he had been doing it his whole life, since age five he had been an expert liar. He had been such a natural it almost frightened him, he remembered the first lie he ever made…

Flash back…

_/Little five-year-old Harry Potter was sitting in the living room playing. He was ecstatic; the lady next door, Mrs. Figg had taken Dudley out for the day at the request of his Aunt so Harry didn't have to worry about his tormenting. Harry starred intensely at the blocks in front of him, a few weeks ago he had been able to do something that in his eyes was absolutely amazing and he was determined to repeat the action. A smile crept on his face when a few of the blocks began to float shakily up and stack on each other; they fell to the ground when he looked up at a scream behind him. _

_He turned and saw his Aunt in the doorway looking terrified and scandalized, his Uncle ran in to see what the fuss was about. His Aunt ran over to Vernon and whispered something in his ear, causing his fat face to turn purple and his beady eyes narrow angrily at the confused Five-year-old._

"_How DARE you!" He screamed, marching forward and reaching out for  
Harry. Harry tried to duck out of the way but that simply resulted in his uncle grabbing his arm at an odd angle as he pulled forcefully to get him up. There was a sickening crack and Harry screamed in pain. Vernon jumped and dropped his nephew to the ground, starring in shock. Petunia screamed and ran to her husband's side, starring at the sobbing boy shocked._

"_Vernon! What are we going to do! I think you broke the freaks wrist! What will we tell the neighbors?" She shrieked with worry on her horse like face. Worry not for her nephew but for her own personal image. While Harry held his broken arm to his chest and watched his Aunt and Uncle fight over a good excuse the door suddenly opened and Dudley and Mrs. Figg came in._

"_Well Petunia! It was a full day but- Oh my! What happened Harry dear?" She set her bag down quickly and rushed to his side, looking at his purpling wrist in concern. "Oh dear! That looks like a terrible break! You poor thing!" She looked at Petunia and Vernon from her spot by Harry. "What on Earth happened?" Vernon and Petunia looked at each other and began stuttering, Harry interrupted._

"_I fell Mrs. Figg." He said suddenly, causing everyone in the room to look at him. Harry's own eyes widened slightly, he didn't know why he said that but his mouth kept moving on it's own accord. "I was standing on the couch to get a book from the shelf when I fell over, I landed on my wrist funny…" Harry's watery eyes moved over to his Aunt and Uncle as he kept telling his fictional fall. They had odd looks on their faces. Vernon's was a mixture of surprise and satisfaction while his Aunt had a mixture of surprise and what looked like a sort of sickened/sad look. That had been the first time Harry lied about injuries and it most definitely was not the last. /_

_End Flash back…_

Harry pondered the conversation for a bit longer before he found himself falling into a restless sleep…

&HP&

Harry woke the next morning to careful hands shaking him awake. He opened tiered eyes and found that the owner of those hands was Hermionie. She had a slightly worried look on her face and next to her was an equally worried Ron. He blinked and starred at them for a bit before he spoke.

"What is it guys? Isn't it Saturday? Why are you waking me up so early?" He mumbled, noting the worried glance they shared.

"Harry… It's nearly ten." Hermionie told his and bit her lip. "You've been sleeping like the dead. We didn't want you to miss breakfast; it's already almost over. We noticed you missed lunch yesterday… And dinner…" Ron nodded and Harry made a noise of surprise when he heard the time.

"Yeah mate… Where were you? None of us could find you anywhere all day. And you obviously didn't get in until late. What's up?" Harry sat up in his bed and sighed.

"I was talking to professor Lupin and Professor Snape all afternoon. I also took a long nap… Which is why I don't know why the hell I'm so bloody tired but oh well."

"Why were you talking to them? Is something wrong?" Harry smiled reassuringly at Hermionie and he shook his head. He was about to respond when he realized that he was about to lie. Again. Things were going to change and he might as well try to go with it so the ride wasn't as rough. His smile faded and he sighed deeply again.

"I… Yeah… Kind of something, but don't worry. Professors Snape and Lupin are helping me. I just… I don't think I could tell you now… I'll tell you soon but… I'm not ready right now." Ron and Hermionie shared a look again but reluctantly nodded at him.

"Ok Harry… We know you'll tell us when you're ready. Get dressed; we'll be waiting in the common room for you to go to breakfast." Harry nodded and the walked out the door, Harry bit his lip and started getting ready.

&HP&

Snape took a bit of his eggs and scanned the great hall with his onyx eyes. Harry wasn't here yet and breakfast was almost over. Last night had been a real eye opener for him, who knew the Griffindor golden boy was so Slytherin? It came as quite a shock. Even more disturbing though was what Harry used this Slytherin side for. Snape cast a covert glance at Lupin and noted that he kept peeking at the Griffindor Table and doors as well. Suddenly Snape looked up as the door opened and Harry, Granger and Weasley walked in. Weasley was talking and making grand hand gestures and his two friends were laughing hysterically. Snape looked at Harry in particular and his eyebrows shot to his hairline. Harry had a giant smile and was laughing, looking as if he hadn't a care in the world. Snape closed his eyes and opened them again, yet the scene hadn't changed. He looked over to Lupin and saw his starring at Harry in shock as well; he looked over and locked eyes with Snape. He shook his head a bit and looked back at Griffindor Table where it appeared Harry was the one telling the joke now. Snape slowly shook his head while his eyes were trained on the laughing and smiling boy that had been sobbing and speaking of severe abuse just last night. 'So Slytherin it's eerie. He's even more Slytherin than me in many ways…'

&HP&

Harry forced a smile on his face again and prayed it was real looking. He choked a laugh out as Ron continued his grand tale about Fred and Georges newest product testing. He felt a tap on his shoulder and spun around, his stomach did a flip-flop when he saw Remus standing in front of him with a sad smile.

"Harry, when you're done with Lunch could you meet me in my office please?" Harry's heart sank and he ignored the confused looks on his friend's faces. He nodded and turned back to his bacon as Remus walked away.

"What was that?" Ron asked. Harry swallowed the bacon he had been chewing and kept his eyes on his plate.

"About last night most likely, he must want to still talk about it." Hermionie and Ron nodded but had slightly worried looks on their faces. They continued their breakfast normal after that, normal except the nervousness twisting in Harry's gut.

&HP&

Remus sat down at his desk, grading papers while he waited for Harry. He knew Snape would arrive soon as well. They had both agreed to try and convince Harry to open up. Remus was determined that by the end of their conversation they would be heading to Dumbledore's office.

&HP&

There you go! And I promise I'll try not to take so long to update next time!


	7. Fire and Surprises

Wow! Ok… Who's read HBP? I read it in under a day. It was that good. And I want to make this clear. I'm gonna ignore the book dispite it's awesome-ness. Obviously I can't go changing it now. So it's officially AU. Right. Moving on.

Anonymous:… Eh… Wow. You're very set in this aren't you? And dispite the fact that….. Well I actually agree with your pairing choices, as how they're going to be in the series. I've already decided that there will be no pairings. Maybe a tiny, tiny bit of Hermionie Ron though. Because it's so cannon to begin with. But aside from that. Sorry.

HoshiHikari: Yeah, I know it's a bit too soon. As we've learned so far…. Harry is a very persuasive boy. So…. Well, you'll see what's going to happen. And Snape and Lupin are on good terms because they have something to fret over…. Eh…. Together. Co-workers that fret together stay together.

&HP&

Harry nervously walked down the corridor to Lupin's office; they were near deserted due to the fact that lunch was still going on. He tried to stay there as long as he could, but Hermionie had noticed that he had stopped eating and was simply sitting there and told him that he should go see Lupin. He complied. What was he supposed to do? Sit there and tell her that 'Oh no, I'll sit here for a bit. 'Cause you see I don't want to go see him because I know he wants to talk about me being the poor lil' abused orphan boy!' He would have then attempted to start a conversation with Ron about… Quidditch or something… Eh… Normal.

All too soon for Harry's taste he was outside Lupin's doors. He stood there in surprise, as he had been lost in his mind for a bit there. So he held the starring contest with the dark oak wood before him and grudgingly knocked softly on the door, hopping to whatever god was out there that Lupin would not hear him and he could leave guilt free.

No such luck.

The doors opened to show a softly smiling Remus Lupin, he opened the door wider and let Harry in. He nodded politely to proffessor Snape, who was sitting on a couch near by. Harry bit the inside of his cheek and sat nervously on the very edge of the armchair Lupin presented him with. He declined the offer of tea and biscuits and sat before the fire feeling very awkward. Then again he always felt awkward. He looked into the lit hearth and wondered if there was a fire in every single room of the castle. And if they were always lit, he thought so. Even late into the night (or early in the morning depending on how you looked at it) when he would go down into the common room because of waking from a nightmare, or vision, or simply a case of insomnia the fire would be lit, bright, and warm. Harry figured that a castle would need fires for heat. But couldn't magic do that? He guessed that fire was for decoration rather than necessity. Harry was glad they were there though. He loved fire. The look of fire, the heat of fire, and most of all the company of fire. As stupid as it sounded Harry would feel almost relieved when he would go down into the common room due to one of the previously mentioned reasons and find the hearth lit.

He could sit with the fire next to him and let all his sadness and fear and worries pour out of him. He would empty himself of all the pain he felt so regularly and let the fire eat it up and turn it to non-existent ashes. He would sit serenely as the fire would console him and calm him with sweet caressing hands of warmth and soft, crooning words that it would never even have to utter. It's mural of colors and allure of graceful dancing movement would say everything Harry needed to hear.

He snapped from the daze he had gone into as he gazed at the fire beside him when he recognized the sound of a soft voice that did not belong to his fire called his name. He looked up to see Lupin sitting across from him with slight worry etched on his handsome yet tired face. Snape sat looking at him as well with that sort of Awkward look that suggested that he didn't know if he should feel worried or irritated.

"You ok there Harry? You didn't answer when I called." He said, regarding Harry with kind eyes. Yet Harry didn't budge, he had learned ages ago not to always trust looking eyes. No matter how kind. In fact the kind eyes were sometimes the worst.

"Fine. Sorry, I must have zoned out. So, what did you want to talk to me about?" He replied calmly, not giving any signs to the nervousness he felt.

"Oh, yes…. Well…" Remus began slowly. He was a bit upset. Harry was holding back, trying his best not to confide in him. Maybe it was best not to force Harry into anything yet. He would go for a lighter approach. "I was wondering when you wanted to tell Dumbledore about… Well, the fitness of your living arrangements. Not that I'm pressuring mind you… But I do want to give my two cents in believing that the sooner the better." He watched Harry's face carefully and was a bit worried when he saw that it held little to no emotion.

"I… Not now. Please. Give me more time." Harry said softly. He only seemed to find his voice when he looked away from Remus and into the fire. Remus mentally sighed. Snape on the other hand didn't try to hide his sigh.

"You can't hide it for long." He said calmly yet firmly. Harry looked at him blankly.

"I've hid it for 13 years." He responded numbly. Snape flinched in what could have been anger or worry. "I'll tell. But remember that it's my secret to tell and I'll tell it when I'm ready."

"Alright… I'll respect your decision because it is indeed yours." He ignored Snape's angry growl to his left and was about to dismiss Harry (reluctantly) when something came to mind. "Harry?" He got a small "Hm?" in response and continued. "May I ask you something?" He got another "Hm." With a tone of complying to it and continued again. "I've been wondering about the second form of your boggart." He saw Harry's eerily fire-lit face flinch a bit and saw Snape lean foreward, obviously curious about it too. "I understand most of the people that were there." And he did. Ron and Hermionie were his friends and he would of course worry about what they thought of him. Albus was his headmaster and Harry always seemed to look up to him so his opinion mattered. As for himself he knew from Hermionie that Harry had thought he was the best DADA teacher they ever had and that he was fonder of Remus than he let on. Like a sort of mentor/possibly distant friend. So his opinion mattered as well. Then there was Sirius, Lily, Cedric and James. They had made it clear when they spoke why they were there. Harry obviously felt responsible for their deaths and felt that they would hate him if they could. But then there was Snape and Malfoy. Sure, Snape was Harry's teacher, but Harry always hated him, didn't he? And Malfoy? That made even less sense.

"You're wondering why Proffesor Snape and Malfoy were in the group." Harry said duly, keeping his eyes trained on the fire. He had said it as a statement, not a question. Remus nodded and Harry apparently saw him because he continued. "Proffesor Snape, you were there because… I don't hate you as much as you may thnk. Yes, you're a prat and Merlin knows you're a bastard but you isn't all that bad." Remus raised an eyebrow; that hadn't made much sense. Snape on the other hand bristled up and growled again, otherwise staying quiet. "You're a jerk but you do decent things." Harry elaborated. "I know you've saved my life a handful of times, you put up with my shite potions skill," Snape snorted at this "and you risk your neck every day to spy for the light. I've seen in visions, dreams, yes I still have them and no I won't talk about them right now. I've seen you be put on the spot and I've seen you be tortured. In fact I sometimes even feel the damn crutias. You've been nothing but a put down to me since I've been here but I do respect you." Harry chewed his lip for a moment and refused to look away from the fireplace. Snape seemed o be in shock.

"You… Do?" Harry nodded, a faint flicker of embarrassment on his face. "You've seen him… Torture me?" Harry nodded again. "And you sometimes feel it for yourself?" Another nod. "Bloody hell. How did you carry on for so long without anit-crutias potions?"

"How did I carry on through first year with a sprained wrist and two broken ribs? I just did." After several long seconds he continued. "The reason I give for Malfoy Applies to you as well. The thing is that everyone in this school. Hell, everyone in the bloody wizarding world has me stereotyped.

They all think I'm the perfect little hero boy with the perfect little family, the perfect little house and the perfect little home. They expect me to be the knight on a white sodding horse come to save them with my amazing power and skill. To deliver them to freedom. You and Malfoy never fell for that ploy. Sure, you may have thought me happy with a perfect life, but you thought me spoiled as well. You recognized me for what I was. What I am. I'm so far from perfect I lost track of what perfect was ages ago. I'm a sad little orphan boy with nothing special about him and no chance to save the world like he's supposed to. You recognized me for the freaky loser I am. No one ever believed you. That's how I liked it. If you knew, if you saw first hand you could tell people.You would have proof and you would have an argument. I would be outted." He finished calmly, yet inside he was beyond nervous. He had said more than he had meant to.

"I… Potter, I never thought you were any of those things. Yes, you are shite in potions and yes I did think you were spoiled and sort of a brat But I never thought you to be a freak or usless." Snape said in a quiet voice. "And I wont tell anyone. I made a promise not to tell anyone unless your ok and I intend to keep my promises."

"Harry… None of what you said is true. You're extremely special and talented! And you're not a freaky loser. Don't ever call yourself that. And just so you know. Snape respects you too. I don't know if he'll ever admit it out loud but I can tell he does." Remus added, Harry sighed deeply and nodded. Though he didn't look convinced. Remus frowned in defeat and looked over to the clock that was filling the room with soft ticking.

"It's getting late. You should go to class, Harry." Snape nodded in agreement. Harry didn't need to be told twice. He stood up and walked from the room without another word apart from "goodbye Professors."

&HP&

'Back and forth, Back and forth. Back and forth, and back.' Harry blinked in mild surprise when he accidentally rolled his muggle pen off the edge of the desk, effectively cutting off his boring and redundant train of thought. He let out a small sigh and sat back in his seat, glancing around the room as he did. As he had suspected that no one, not even Hermionie, was paying attention. They were in history of magic and as per usual routine professor Binns was droning on and on in a low monotone voice. Harry didn't know how long he had been sitting there rolling his pen but people were suddenly packing their things up. He sat up and began putting things in his bag. He, Hermionie and Ron all stood and were almost out the door when a dreary voice stopped them.

"Mr. Potter!" They stopped and turned to find Binns approaching them. "Hello Miss Granger, Mr. Weasley." He said politely before turning to Harry. "Mr. Potter, professor Dumbledore wants to see you in his office. He says it's urgent. The password is blood Lollies." And with that the ghost turned and floated back into his class. Harry turned to look at his friends.

"That's odd… We haven't done anything lately have we?" Ron muttered, confused. Harry smiled and chuckled a bit.

"Not to my knowledge. I'll meet you guys later, ok?" His friends nodded and waved goodbye as they went down the hall. Harry went down the hall as well, only he turned left. He continued to Dumbledore's office with a sense of foreboding in his gut. Almost every time he went there it was for something bad. Not to mention that Lupin and Snape could have… He trailed off on his thoughts and stopped in the hall. 'No. Oh god, please… Please let them not have told.' He thought to himself as he reluctantly continued walking.

He muttered out the password and stepped on the rotating stone steps as they churned past him. In no time he was outside Dumbledore's door and he heard a familiar voice say "enter". He took an unsteady gulp of air and went in. Everything seemed normal. Dumbledore sat at his desk with his usually calm smile and Fawks thrilling behind him. Aside from that there was no one else there. He sat down in the chair before Dumbledore's desk and politely declined both the lemon drop and the tea.

"Harry 'm boy. I… Something has come into light. Something quite important." Harry's heart sped up. "We should finish this conversation quickly and proceed to the hospital wing." His breath caught in his throat but he remained quiet. "Do you remember what the veil of mysteries is?" Harry blinked in surprise and his heart slowed a few beats. He nodded and the elderly wizard continued. "And what is that?"

"It's not completely explained, but it is believed to be a passage or doorway between life and death." Harry replied, somehow keeping his voice even.

"Exactly. So, anyone who falls through it dies." Harry felt a painful stab in his chest. "Unless the veil had been switched." Dumbledore took a pause to survey Harry over his half-moon glasses and continued. "It would appear that Voldmort had the attack at the ministry more planned out than we thought. Before he sent you the vision that compelled you to leave to school he had Lucius Malfoy go down into the department of mysteries and put a fake veil right in front of the real one. This fake veil would be a direct portkey to one of their many prison cells. Lord Voldemort told all his followers to knock as many people as they could into the veil, as it was now the most efficient way to get prisoners. The only person they managed to get through was your godfather. Sirius black." Harry felt his heart quicken again and he watched the headmaster carefully. "Yes Harry. Sirius is alive. We discovered him in one of the cells of a deatheater hove on a raid. He's in the secure room at the hospital wing." Harry could see his vision blur from his tears as he stood quickly.

"Please! I want to go see him!" He said, his voice feeling thick as marmalade. Dumbledore nodded and they were making their way to the hospital wing in no time.

&HP&

It seemed to take an eternity but they eventually stood in front of the doors that separated the normal hospital wing and the secure room. Poppy came out and gave them a nod; Harry took in some air and walked unsteadily into the room. The breath he had taken was let out in a strangled sob as his tear-glossed eyes fell upon Sirius Black. Sitting in the hospital bed with a smile, he had bandages and a few bruises but was still very much alive.

"Hey kiddo." And those words seemed to be the trigger. Because the next thing he knew he was running across the room with hot tears on his face. He let out another sob and threw himself into Sirius' arms. One leg was tucked under him and the other was still to the side with his foot on the ground. His hands were gripping Sirius' forearms tightly and he had his face buried in his godfather's chest. Sirius wrapped his arms around Harry and pulled him so he was fully on the bed and tucked safely into his arms. "Shhh, it's ok Harry… God I missed you so much." Sirius continued to whisper soothing things to him and would occasionally turn his head to kiss the top of Harry's head.

"Oh Sirius!" Harry cried out between sobs. "I t-though you were g-gone for good! I though you w-were dead! I-" Sob "Though I had k-killed you! I'm s-so sorry!" These words caused surprise in everyone there, but Sirius was the first to say what they were all thinking.

"Harry! I- What do you mean killed me?" Harry made a noise and responded.

"It w-was my fault… I didn't t-take lessons with Snape so I fell for the vision and went to the ministry. It was my fault you were there and it was my fault she killed you!" There was a resounding silence in the room. Everyone was shocked by what they were hearing. Dumbledore knew that Harry was upset from Sirius' death but he had no idea that he had felt responsible.

"Harry, that's not true! I went there because the order went there. They went there because deatheaters were there. They would have been there if you hadn't. I sure as hell don't blame you for what happened and you shouldn't either." Harry sobbed and gave a barley there nod against his chest. Sirius accepted this for now, but he knew that it would take more than that to get him off this guilt trip.

Suddenly the door opened to show a tear ridden Remus Lupin in the door. Harry reluctantly but quickly moved over so Lupin could run forward and have his turn sobbing in his close friends arms. He sat at the edge of the bed silently, barley noticed tears rolling down his cheek. He watched them hug and talk. He watched Lupin cry and watched Sirius comfort. He noticed that Poppy and Dumbledore had left them alone and only him and the two crying men at the head of the bed were in the room. After many moments they broke apart and Remus and Harry were listening to Sirius' accounts of what happened from being captured to being rescued. He obviously cut out all the torture he must have had to endure.

"So, anything of interest happen lately? Aside from me being back." Sirius asked once he was through, Harry responded without really thinking.

"Nope, boring as ever." He said in a casual voice that sounded no different from the one he had been using for the past few minutes.

"Oh, well I suppose that's sort of good." Sirius responded with a nod and a Smile, Harry returned the smile and tensed as he realized that someone was starring at him. He looked over to see Lupin starring at him with an unreadable expression.

"That's not true, Harry." He said calmly, refusing to break eye contact. Harry felt his stomach twist.

"You… You said you wouldn't tell." He whispered, so nervous that he let his mask slip and now wore a worried and terrified expression. "You said I could wait till I was ready!" Lupin sighed and allowed pity and apology to show on his face, it also held a sign of firmness.

"I know… I said we could wait till you were ready to tell Dumbledore. But Sirius is your godfather. He's your legal guardian and he cares about you. Merlin knows he's nosey as hell" Remus ignored the snort Sirius gave, but noticed that the animagus was watching both of them in interest and curiosity. "And Merlin knows that he's sneakier than any Gryffindor I've ever met, aside from you. He has a right to know and if you don't tell him he'll figure it out eventually. Then think how he would feel when he realized that you kept something like this from him while Snape and I know!"

"It's not like I told you! The stupid boggart told you! If it weren't for that test you would still be oblivious and I would still be perfectly fine with pretending!" By now Harry was shouting and tears were rolling down his face again.

"So you never had any plan to tell anyone? You were just going to take the abuse and take the secret to the grave?" Remus countered looking upset.

"If you must know yes! That was the bloody plan!" Harry snapped angrily. The next thing they knew he had gotten up and was running to the door. Sirius sat all the up in surprise and moved to get out of bed.

"Harry! Please!" He shouted to the boy's back. Harry stopped with his back still to them and his hand on the doorknob. He stood there for a few short moments until his shoulders began to shake slightly and he fell to his knees and lent his forehead against the doorframe. Sirius climbed out of bed quickly and hurried over to his side along with Remus. Sirius got to his knees next to his godson and put his hand on his shaking shoulder, about to ask what was wrong. Harry looked up and Sirius got a distressed look on his face. Remus knew why. Harry wore the same blank yet pained look he had a few days ago when Remus and Snape had found him in the bathroom. He knew first hand what a terrifying and painful expression it was to see, especially on a boy like Harry. "Sirius…" Harry began with a sniff. "I've been lying to you about some things…. And I've been keeping a lot of secrets.

&HP&

Oh, what do you think? Respond and leave comments! See da button? Clickey, Clickey!


	8. Padfoot's Discoveries

Hello my dears! I'm back from my trip to London. It was FABULOUS by the way. Though the plane rides? Not so much. A grand total of 12 hours spent traveling for the way there, then 14 coming home. Shit. Also, I've been trying to spend more time on the book I'm writing. Moving on.

Response to reviews!

Queenofdakittys: Bwahaha, it's the irritated cursing people like you that make writing cliffhangers worthwhile. And as for leaving spoiler out more due to his phooey-ness in hbp? Sorry dear, I hate him too. But since he's one of the main characters in this story I got to keep him, I'll just make it AU (as it already is because Harry is angsty as hell and spoiler is alive) and You-know-who (no not volders) is still cool.

Flamegirl22: Ehe, thanks, and sorry I didn't update that day or the day after at your request, I would've but as you may have read in my beginning notes I flew out to London for three weeks the night I updated. And I'll get to your story ASAP!

maya100: joins you in cheering Don't you just adore padfoot? And yes, Sirius will NOT be a happy puppy when he hears what Harry has to say. Dumbles you say? (Heh, volders. Dumbles. These names make me giggle) yes, there will be a bit of angsty Albus and resentfulness when he hears. He will feel bad.

Saf Saf: yes, as you saw from the above review response. This chapter angry Godfathers and guilty headmasters.

Totallystellar: Heh, sorry about that love. I'm a bit computer retarded. And his secrets? To who? The secrets he's going to tell Sirius or the secrets he's keeping from Remus and Sev? Because the secrets to Sirius is obviously the abuse and shit, and the secrets he's keeping from the other two are basically just the gruesome details of the abuse.

Sindauviel: He, sorry about the insanity thing. I was on a trip; I'll try to be more prompt. And I KNOW! My mom came into my room to look for the phone and saw me sobbing, she freaked out until she saw the book in my hands and just rolled her eyes (even though she balled a few weeks later when she read it). And my sister yelled at me when I made a ruckus at 3 am when Sirius died.

Minniemcmouse: Thanks, I was dying to try and find a reason. And sorry, there aren't going to be any pairings in this story. (SRY! ) But if you want Remus/Harry I do have a story with that pairing called "Elvin Child". It's major AU and I don't know if that tickles your fancy but you could read it if you want.

ONWARD!

&HP&

Sirius sat cautiously on the bed with his eyes firmly trained on his godson who in turn sat at the foot of the bed, as far away from him as possible, and avoided his eye with all his might. Remus on the other hand sat silently to his right at the head on the bed and watched Harry with a sort of pity/regretful look.

"So… What is it you need to tell me kiddo?" Sirius asked softly when a certain amount of silence had passed. Harry starred more intently at the bedding by his feet and seemed to mull over his thoughts for a bit.

"My aunt and uncle… They… Well mostly my uncle… He…" Harry trailed off again and Sirius got worried, he had never known Harry to be at a loss for words. Finally Harry gave a great sigh and looked up at Remus pleadingly. "Professor Lupin I can't do this!" He sobbed out breathily with fresh tears threatening to fall from his eyes. Remus looked ages older than he really was; he looked almost as frightened as Harry did. And in a word Sirius was freaked.

"It's ok Harry" Remus replied softly. "Do… Do you want me to tell him?" He asked calmly. Harry looked to the bedding again and nodded silently. Remus bit his lip and looked a bit put out, as if he didn't really want to be the one to spill the beans either. Remus took a shaky breath and looked away from the forlorn figure of his godson to meet Sirius' eye. "Pads… Very recently… I—I discovered that Harry's uncle… He's been abusing him. We knew of course that his uncle didn't think much of him but… We didn't know how deeply the mental and emotional battery went. Not to mention… The… The phys—physical abuse." There was a defining silence at the end of Remus' words. Harry had nothing to say, he was too worried about what Sirius was going to say, so worried that he forced himself to keep his eyes down. Sirius on the other hand had too many thoughts running through his brain to even get a word out. Finally, after several excruciating seconds Sirius found his voice.

"WHAT?" He bellowed causing Remus to jump in surprise and Harry to recoil tighter into his ball and let out a small sob. "I'LL KILL HIM! I'll bloody kill him! And that bitch! She knew! She no doubt saw it all the time! And she was part of it wasn't she? That sodding tosser! I swear to Merlin! If I ever get my hands on those dirty little—"

"Sirius! Please! I understand that you're upset! You have good reason but it would probably do well to stop yelling!" Remus interjected with a slightly raised yet tired voice. Sirius cut off and swung around to look at him, as he had leapt up form the bed and began pacing during his rant. Remus gave him a meaningful look and nodded to Harry. Sirius looked to his godson and felt his stomach churn in regret. Harry was curled into a tiny ball and sat with his head buried in his knees so his messy hair draped over the denim of his pants like a curtain. He was shaking like a leaf and Sirius could hear the faint sound of crying. What had he been thinking? Harry was obviously worried about how he would take it, no need to mention that a history of physical abuse doesn't exactly create a good reaction to furious screaming. Sirius' face contorted into one of pain and he rushed forward to the bedside. He knelt next to Harry and stroked his hair soothingly. He knew that he shouldn't pull Harry into any sort of embrace right away dispite how much he wanted to do so, who knew how he would react.

"Harry, I'm so sorry!" He pleaded softly. "I didn't mean to yell, I'm in no way angry at you! I love you so much Harry and I'm only sorry I wasn't there for you." He let out a breath he didn't know he had been holding when Harry loosened up a bit and leaned just the tiniest bit into his touch. Sirius gently moved Harry's head so it wasn't buried in his knees anymore. He looked into Harry's tear glossed eyes and stroked the side of his face. "Harry. I… I'm so sorry." He was planning on saying more but cut off when Harry un-expectantly scooted forward and into his godfather's arms.

He remained with his knees against his chest but he buried his face in Sirius' neck and gripped the front of his shirt desperately. Sirius melted when he felt how small Harry seemed in his arms. How young, how vulnerable, how needing. Harry was such and exceptional kid, he was smart, collected, and so often seemed wise beyond his years. He was so exceptional that people often forgot how young he really was, this is exactly what Sirius had done. He forgot that Harry was 16, he forgot that he was the shortest kid in his grade out of the boys and girls, he forgot that Harry was an orphan that grew up in a loveless home without ever knowing his parents or anything about them. Sirius Black re-noticed all of these things as he held his Harry tightly in his arms with his cheek resting on his soft hair. He truly saw every aspect of his godson that people tried to ignore, the aspects that reminded people that their savior. The person with the weight of the world resting on their shoulders, with all eyes on him as he crosses the tight rope alone was just a child. The facts that alerted them to the fact that he was just human and had flaws and weaknesses like every body else. Harry began to speak, his voice muffled by Sirius' hair

"Don't be sorry Sirius. I should be, I should've told you. Or told anyone. I just—"

"Shh." Sirius whispered soothingly as tears stung at his eyes. "It's all right pup. You don't have anything to apologize for." Sirius saw Remus smiling sadly at them from the head of the bed. Sirius didn't waver in his grip on Harry and returned the bittersweet gesture to his life-long friend. Neither of them noticed the door creak open, nor did they notice Albus Dumbledore walk in the room looking quite miffed at why the door was locked and what all the muffled yelling had been about.

&HP&

Ech…. Short chapter, sorry. I'm just tired as hell and wanna go to bed. But I promise that I'll update soon.

R&R my loves!


End file.
